

My dad wouldn't let me join the Muslims, but my best friend in high school was white, and I quit talking to him just like that. Yeah, I went through a very militant time. Why wouldn't your dog be invited?" So the dude says, "Well, there was this guy back up the road, and he wouldn't let me bring my dog." And the guy says, "Well, that guy's guarding the gates of hell. And he says just like the first guy, "Come on in, neighbor!" And the dude says - you know, after his last experience - "Is my dog invited?" And this guy's like, "Sure, man, bring your dog on in. So he walks down the road a little farther and there's another guy standing there. And the dude says that he isn't about to go anywhere his dog isn't invited. And the guy tells the dude that his dog can't come. And there's this guy standing there by this gate saying, "Come on in, neighbor!" So he's about to go on in, but the dog starts growling. All he knows is that they're walking down this road. And they die, the dude and his dog, only he doesn't know it. I remember watching The Twilight Zone one time, and this country dude was coon hunting, and this coon pulled his dog beneath the water. He knows the strengths and weaknesses of everybody on that field. He was just so smart he knew what was going to happen before it happened. Hank Aaron was the best ballplayer I've ever seen. Three, I can't floss because of the size of my fingers - they're too big. Two, I quit tobacco six or seven years ago, and it keeps me from dipping tobacco. If I've got short sleeves on, I've got wristbands on. I hardly ever think about driving anymore, unless there's two out in the bottom of the ninth. Managers are never 100 percent in control. My best thoughts come then.Įverybody knows something, and nobody knows everything. But I might wake you up at four o'clock in the morning to finish it. Don't carry on a conversation with me when I'm on the bed, because I'm gonna go out on you. I can fall asleep quicker than any man you've ever seen. Until your house burns down, you don't worry about getting smoke detectors.

Football didn't do much 'bout steroids until Lyle Alzado died. It's gonna take someone getting seriously sick. A baseball uniform ain't for a fifty-four-year-old to be wearing. "He's fatter than that." That's what I hear most of the time. Most people don't believe it's me, though. I get recognized now more than ever before, even when I was playing. I prefer it when people don't know who I am. In time, Nolan Ryan had a better curveball than a fastball. I don't like oldies unless they're rap oldies. But not anymore, because there are always two or three songs on the new album that I already got. I used to wonder if Tupac's gonna show up in ten years and say he was just messin' with us. Steve Bartman? Personally, I'd like to win it and put him at the head of the parade - exonerate him for life. If he was, I would've won a long time ago. God's on both sides he ain't just on my side. I put my wristbands on before I put on anything else.
